guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
