Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
