well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
