I think I am morally bankrupt
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
