yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
