Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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