I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
