Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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