the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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