U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
