dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
