You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
