A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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