Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She needs sedatives and a leash
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
