My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's shark week go big or go home
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just puked most of my soul out..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
