I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
