Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
