I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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