You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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