So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
