I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
