i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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