Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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