Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
