I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
