well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
