we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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