i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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