if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
