you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
