So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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