no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
