I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
