The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
