and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
