I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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