Don't make out with my wife yet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
