So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
