I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
