So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
