Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
