i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
