i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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