She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
