Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
