You're completely useless in the revolution.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
FUCK WHALES
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
