I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
