Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
