I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was like eating out sand paper
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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