Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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