On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
