so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
